A Consumed Consumer

Its 12:01 AM, and I'm at coffee works, attempting to study for this consumers behavior exam. Ive come to the realization, while reading this nonsense about getting in the minds of consumers that in the course of my 4 years in college I've bought into something I never thought I would. I am a consumed consumer. I'm on course to get a "real job" in August, to set myself up to be at a position in 5 years which society defines as successful, an corporate MBA who is a provider, buying the quarter million dollar house, saving for retirement, paying ridiculous amounts or taxes,gradually losing the health care/dental insurance year by year, and possibly, dare I say getting married. 4 years ago, I was a musician trying to grow sideburns like the rest of my band mates, an aspiring film maker struggling seeking inspiration to someday write a masterpiece screenplay, fearless of the law, anti-establishment, and trying to create something that has yet to be dreamt.

A mentor told me that people choose 2 paths in life, to either be a provider, working to provide for a family, or an artist, willing to survive on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the hope to someday be satisfy their passions, even if its short-lived. I have not accepted this as truth as of yet, but as Ive grown older, and more conditioned to disappointment, I can see where this mentor was coming from.

I recently found a tape recording aged 7 years, the first recording my former band attempted, on a little boombox in my former best friends basement, and i was taken aback, while listening to covers of Rage Against the Machine "Bulls on Parade" amongst others. Now I'm playing Paul Simon covers on an acoustic guitar.

I'm not unhappy with the direction in life I have taken. In the past year, Ive come to the realization that family is the most important thing in life. My grandmother sold me on this, when I was in India and asked her about her proudest accomplishment in her 75 years. She told me she measures the success in her life by her children, and her grandchildren.

I usually wouldn't give her response much thought otherwise, however she made a solid point, in saying that when someone first meets you, they don't ask you how much money you have in your bank account, but instead how many children you have. If I can have 10 children, and pass on a legacy to a generation like she has, I will have considered my life a success. Maybe that is why I have begun to choose this path as a provider, since I did hear that having children these days was expensive. I guess if I have a son that becomes the next Tarrintino, or Bob Dylan, then my life will have meant something. Who knows though, maybe I'll become unconsumed for a couple years and do something great, or even better, achieve success as both a provider and an artist. For now, I will get back to studying consumer behavior.